So many things have happened..So many..

I don't how to start..Perhaps it has been a long time since I blogged here that I have lost all my sense of writing..

Since the last mid-year term exam, I have not been in good terms with Yukina..A terrible misunderstanding happened and she got really angry..And I sweared that I should have nothing more to do with her..After all, our friendship has been rather rocky from the start of the year..But I couldn't, after the mid-year holidays, she regretted her actions and apologised to me, and I forgived her just like how I used to, despite all her hurtful letters..

I told her things cannot go back as it used to be, because there have been too much things we do not agree at..And she followed it until one day, she lost her cool and threw a tantrum at me and Isuzu..She started saying that she didn't want to bother us any longer.. I was very hurt and angry at her actions, and decided that it's best we don't talk to each other any more. I have forgiven her again and again and she does not seem to understand..Isuzu did not know what to do, but she was equally as frustated when Y started writing letters to us..I don't know how I should solve this matter, really..And I felt really bad that I involved Isuzu..I really did not like how things turned out like that..

And so we did not talk to Y for a few weeks after the incident happened..But occasionally she sent us letters when she wanted a word with either me or Isuzu..I was like, didn't she state in her last letter that it was her LAST letter? It was just like how Y used to act..And I know perfectly well everytime when I tried to ignore all these thing happening, deep in my heart I couldn't..

And then the it happened..Last Friday, Y and her siblings went to Genting with her father to watch the MLTR concert. And apparantly it was one of her family problems again, their mother threw them out, so they had to move to KL with their father..I was shocked when I knew what happened from one of her friends on Monday..This was just too sudden..A said that Y would be coming back on Tuesday to settle things in Convent and she would be leaving straight after that..I was shocked..Really..that things have to turned out that way..Isuzu was too, but think that it would be best for Y as she had had too much family problems here already. Perhaps KL will do her better..

The next day, I was like, hoping that perhaps they would change their mind, but once I saw her father and brother, I knew things had to go on..When I reached St Helen's Square, I saw Isuzu and Regina sitting in one corner and Isuzu was holding some of Y's documents..She said that she wanted to pass those to her but could not find her, and did not want to pass it to her sister as she was surrounded by her swarm of friends.. I decided to help pass it to her brother..I found her brother easily. He stood out most from the crowd, obviously, because he was a little boy in a Spiderman shirt. I had to chase after him for awhile because he didn't see me..I saw Y's elder sister with her friends.Some of them were crying, and I could see that her sister was definitely not happy about leaving this school..After all, this was the school that she has been around for nearly five years, and she had to leave just like that without even sitting her SPM here..As I squatted at a corner, Y suddenly came over. And we were like "Hi" when we met..She said that so many things had happened at home and she had to leave..She hugged me and said that she did not want things to happen like that either..I did not know what to say..Deep in my heart, I had forgiven her..I could feel a building sadness inside me, but I did not cry. No, I did not, because I'm afraid it would hold her back. I wanted her to have no more worries and unsettled things here in Convent. She called out to Isuzu, who was sitting not far away from me. Isuzu smiled and wished her good luck. Y hugged her too, and I knew, that, Isuzu too had forgiven her for all the things that she had done. She did not show much of her emotions, but I knew that Isuzu was sad that Y had to leave now. Y kepy asking us not to change our handphone numbers and Isuzu promised to contact her via e-mail.Y met up with a few of our classmates and they said their parting words..They joked that Y would get a boyfriend before everyone because she was going to move to a co-ed school. After that, all of us went to our classroom and Y said that she would stay until 2.30pm. Everyone sat near Y to talk to her, and P Selva also wished her good luck. I kept quiet most of the time, not because I had nothing to say, but this was my habit when I'm with a large group of people, I usually like to keep quiet, unless we were discussing something. Y also asked Lee Fang not to "bully" Isuzu when she is not around. All of them exchanged jokes and Y also told me to be very careful when I am cooking in my KH class because she is not there to help me anymore. I smiled when she said that. She also said to send her any of my future drawings to her via e-mail. After that, she said that she would be leaving as it is already two-something. She hugged Isuzu and me for the final time and left the classroom with Amanda.

I still could not believe that she had already left. Every now and then teachers would look at the kedatangan book and state that "Tan Wei Ting dah pindah", "Tan Wei Ting dah pindah". Isuzu drew a picture of her after that. I offered to help her scan, and Isuzu asked me, what would Y say if she sent her that drawing of her. I said. she would be very happy and touched, which is how Y would usually react. Isuzu smiled. And as hard as I wanted to admit, I really missed Y.

Even if Y has said many hurtful things to me before, the past is the past, and it should be put behind us. It has been a friendship with many misuderstandings and obstacles, but I knew that, I treasure every single moment the three of us spent together.. To Yukina, if you are reading this, I hope that you can be happy in KL, and don't worry about me or Isuzu, we are fine. Please be healthy and happy. And you will always be known as Kakei Yukina, Isuzu as Kakei Isuzu, and me as Kakei Yukiko.

"Give us a RIGHT to exist."

8:31 AM